While the topic of drunks is at hand here, have you ever heard the one about the drunk at the baptism? Well if you haven't, here goes:
There was a preacher performing baptisms in a river when a drunk walked up to the preacher. Smelling alcohol on the drunk's breath this is what follows:
Preacher: Son, are you ready to find Jesus?
Drunk: Yes sir, I am.
So the preacher lowers the man into the water, baptizes him, and brings him back up.
Preacher: Did you find Jesus?
Drunk: No, I did not.
The preacher performs the baptism again, but again the man said he did not find Jesus. Now the preacher has become somewhat humiliated but decides to try the baptism a third time, and holds the man under a little longer while the man was kicking and clawing at the sky with arms waving wildly. Then the preacher brought him back up, whereby he was well out breath and spewing water.
Preacher: My God man, have you now found Jesus?
Drunk: No, are you sure this is where He fell in?